


Shattered Glass

by the_13th_battalion



Series: Obi-Wan's Journal AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Like LOTS of angst, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Only mentioned though, Post-Episode: s05e16 The Lawless, The council actually listens, ahsoka ships anidala, anakin ships obi-wan and satine, but also fluff, possible canon inaccuracies but idc, qui-gon's robe makes an appearance, smol short obi-wan, the usual, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion
Summary: In the aftermath of the fall of Mandalore, Anakin is called back to Coruscant. There, he learns about the death of the Duchess. With a little help from Ahsoka, he watches over Obi-Wan and tries to pick up the broken pieces of his brother's heart.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Series: Obi-Wan's Journal AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689457
Comments: 8
Kudos: 168





	Shattered Glass

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm still reeling from my Clone Wars binge watch, but in particular, that one episode in season 5. I mean, who isn't? In fact, who isn't still shook from the whole second half??
> 
> This fic is inspired by a headcanon of mine, which is that Obi-Wan kept a journal for Satine. I love the fact that he had ones written for Luke so much so I decided he did it for others XD
> 
> Enjoy!!

Anakin’s hurried footsteps echoed in the vast, empty hangar. Practically running, he made his way from his ship to the Jedi temple. Fists clenched, brows drawn together, eyes dark, anyone would have steered clear from his path.

If they had been around.

These days, the war called many of the Jedi away. The temple remained too silent, too still, and Anakin had been asked to come alone.

His stomach twisted uncomfortably as he thought about the reason he came. A transmission had come through from Yoda. _Trouble, there is. Return to Coruscant, you must._

An hour had passed since then. Anakin had left for Coruscant immediately. He had come to expect that anytime someone called for him and him alone, it meant either a special mission involving explosions, or something was wrong with Obi-Wan. The concern in Yoda’s voice had set off alarm bells in Anakin’s mind. It had to be the latter option.

The Force itself quivered with dread around him as he marched through the temple. His instincts screamed at him to go, to hurry, move, move, MOVE!

Anakin went straight to the Council meeting room, just as Yoda had instructed. There, he found the Jedi waiting for him.

Anakin skipped the formalities. “What’s going on?”

“Skywalker. Good to see you, it is.” Yoda’s voice hung heavily with sorrow.

“What’s going on?” Anakin repeated more urgently, anger sliding into his tone.

“Into the hands of Death Watch, Mandalore has fallen.”

Anakin paled. _This IS about Obi-Wan._

Yoda continued gravely. “To aid the Duchess, Obi-Wan went. Return today, he did. More troubling news, he brought. Killed, the Duchess of Mandalore was.”

Anakin’s blood froze.

Yoda sighed. “Worried, I am, about Obi-Wan. Go to him, you must. Listen to you, he will.”

Anakin didn’t bother to respond. He knew he was being rude, but the faster he left, the faster he could get to Obi-Wan. He turned and tore out of the room, his heart in his throat. He reached out with the Force. He searched desperately for Obi-Wan’s Force signature.

Nothing.

He growled in frustration. _Why does he always close himself off like that?!_

He let his instincts guide him to Obi-Wan’s quarters. Hoping he had guessed right, he tried the door. It opened for him. Anakin stepped inside. Straight ahead of him, a dark silhouette against the bright window, stood Obi-Wan.

“Obi-Wan?”

He turned his head slightly to look back. “Oh. Anakin.”

A knife stabbed through Anakin’s heart. Obi-Wan sounded exhausted.

Not only that, he looked exhausted, too. Dressed in battle worn Mandalorian armor, with dirt and blood coating the side of his face and a haze over his eyes, he hardly looked like himself. Anakin had grown used to the soft earth tones of his clothes and the gentle glow of the Force from his brother. The harsh red and black of the armor alone sent chills down Anakin’s spine.

“Master Yoda told me what happened. Obi-Wan, I-”

“It’s fine,” Obi-Wan interrupted, turning to the window again.

Anakin frowned and moved to stand beside him. Frustration punctuated his words. “But it’s not! Stop saying it’s fine when it absolutely is NOT!”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Look, Anakin, I’ve had enough sympathy and scrutiny today to last me the rest of my life. Please, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“But Satine is-”

“Don’t.”

Anakin’s jaw snapped shut. Obi-Wan’s response had barely been above a whisper, but it might as well have been a clap of thunder. Cautiously, he placed his hand on his shoulder. Obi-Wan tensed but he didn’t pull away. Projecting all his concern and all the love he had for him through the Force, Anakin murmured, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Obi-Wan’s shields fell. Waves of grief and pain slammed into Anakin, almost physically knocking him over. Just as suddenly as they fell, the walls were thrown back up. Anakin was left shaken and sorrowful.

Obi-Wan’s breath hitched. “Please go.”

Wordlessly, Anakin turned and walked out. He closed the door behind him.

Once outside, he resolutely set off for the Council meeting room, a plan forming in his mind. Obi-Wan needed time to properly grieve and get some rest, and Anakin would secure that for him. He touched the communicator on his wrist. “Master Yoda, I need to meet with the Council. Now.”

“Urgent, the matter is?” Yoda responded.

“Yes. But it’s about Obi-Wan. Don’t call him.” He doubted Yoda would, but he had to make sure. “Please,” he added as an afterthought.

“The other members, I will call. Right away, we will meet.”

“Thank you, Master.”

Anakin ended the call and quickened his steps. He reached the room in record time. The members of the Council had already assembled. Anakin eyed Obi-Wan’s empty seat, unchecked concern on his face.

“I call this meeting to order,” Mace Windu said. He fixed Anakin with a steady, somewhat skeptical gaze. “What did you want to speak so urgently about?”

Anakin stood tall under the judgmental eyes of the Council. “Masters, I have come to ask you for help regarding Master Kenobi’s health before, and I come to you now with the same goal in mind.”

Windu sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Skywalker, if you’ve come here to speak on Obi-Wan’s behalf again-”

“Master, please.” Anger began to swirl in Anakin’s chest. He forced it down and kept his features as neutral as he could. “Give me a few minutes to speak.”

The room fell silent. Anakin continued.

“Yes, I have come to speak on Obi-Wan’s behalf, again. I only do so because I know he won’t ask for it himself. I regard him as my brother. He has looked out for me on numerous occasions and I seek to return the favor. As you know, Obi-Wan traveled to Mandalore and-”

“Against the Council’s wishes!”

Anakin didn’t pay attention to who had spoken. His anger flared. “He was just trying-” He paused and took a breath. _Hold it together! You won’t get what you came for if you yell!_ Adjusting his tone, he spoke again. “He was trying to help them. I don’t need to tell you how selfless he is. He will do anything to help anyone.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yoda nod. Encouraged, he continued. “Previously, I’ve come to ask you to give Obi-Wan temporary relief from his duties because his selflessness caused him to fall ill. In a way, he is in need of this relief again. I spoke with him very briefly just a few minutes ago. He’s hurt and exhausted. His duties in this war are the last thing he needs right now. Give him a break. Please.”

Anakin studied the faces of each Council member. Frustratingly, none of them gave away even a hint of their thoughts on the matter.

Finally, Windu spoke. “I move for a three day reprieve.”

Anakin’s composure slipped. He scowled. “That’s not enough time!”

Several of the Council members shot Anakin glares of disapproval, including Windu. “This war doesn’t allow for any longer.”

“But you saw him! He looks awful!”

“Perhaps, but there are certain responsibilities that cannot be pushed aside.”

Anakin’s words still rumbled with anger. “Then give the responsibility to me!”

“What about your responsibilities? Your troops? Your padawan?” Windu shot back.

“My men are holding their position. I left them with Ahsoka. She is more than capable of leading the men through any trouble they might encounter. I trust her to make the right decisions.”

The room flooded with tense silence.

Anakin reigned in his anger and started again. “All I’m asking is for you to give Obi-Wan enough time to heal. He’s been through _so much_. He needs time. Please.”

He held his breath. Waiting. Hoping.

Yoda was the first to speak. “Agree with Skywalker, I do. A week of rest, I propose.”

A Council member agreed, then another. Soon, the Council unanimously approved the proposition.

Anakin let out his breath, relieved. “Thank you, Masters.”

“We will let you know when we have more tasks for you. For now, focus on keeping an eye on your troops, Padawan Tano, and Master Kenobi,” Windu told him.

Anakin nodded. “Of course, Master. I will.”

“You’re dismissed.”

“Thank you.” Anakin bowed and left the room.

Once he was out of sight, he smirked to himself. _That’s another point for me._

* * *

“Wait, so you’re staying on Coruscant for a whole week?! And I’m in charge of the clone troops while you’re gone?!”

Anakin leaned back in his chair and grinned at Ahsoka’s wide eyed stare. Even through the static of the hologram, he could feel her excitement. “Yup. You’re in charge.”

“No way!” Ahsoka beamed and threw her hands in the air. “I can’t believe it! I mean...uh...” She cleared her throat and stood straight. “Thank you, Master. This is an honor.”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “No need to be formal with me, Snips. Celebrate all you want.”

Ahsoka laughed and loosened her posture. “I guess you’re right.” Abruptly, she turned serious. “Why did Master Yoda call you back?”

Anakin’s expression darkened. He looked away from her. “Satine, the Duchess of Mandalore, is dead. I think Obi-Wan was with her when she died.”

“Oh no...” Ahsoka hugged herself and bit her lip.

“Don’t worry. I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“He’s gonna need it, now more than ever.”

“Yeah, I know.” Anakin watched the sunset. He thought of Obi-Wan’s hollow voice and glassy eyes. His heart twisted. “I know...”

* * *

No matter what he did, his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Obi-Wan sat on his bed, staring out the window at the Coruscant traffic. A mug of tea waited for him on the nightstand, long forgotten and cold.

He sighed heavily. _Four days._

Four days since he had returned from Mandalore. A piece of him had been there for years. A piece of him still remained. That piece had shattered into a million bits, like glass colliding with a stone.

Four days and he still saw her as clearly as if she were standing in front of him.

He scrubbed a hand down his face, exhaustion tugging at his eyelids. He closed his eyes for a moment. Darkness covered his vision, warm and forgiving.

Then he saw her again. He saw the black blade pierce her abdomen. He saw her face as he held her close, watching the life drain from her eyes.

Obi-Wan shook his head and forced his eyes open. Resolutely, he pushed the memory back. _Tea. I should have some tea._

He reached over and picked up the mug. _Hm. Cold. I should make more._

He stood on shaky legs and shuffled out of his room. He pulled his robe tighter around him. Extra fabric gathered at his wrists and dragged on the floor. The robe once belonged to Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan always had a habit of losing or ripping his robes. His old master had offered Obi-Wan one of his a few days before he died. He had thrown it on now in the hopes of drawing comfort from it.

He fingered the faded fabric. _Darth Maul killed him. Just like he killed..._

_No. Stop. Go make more tea._

Something on his desk caught his eye. He paused, staring. Then slowly, hesitantly, he walked over and rested his hand on the worn cover of a journal. His journal. The one he had been writing in last week. Before everything went wrong.

The journal for her.

He had been avoiding the journal since he got back, afraid of the memories, afraid of seeing her face in the pages. Now, he found himself drawn to it, as if it were calling him. He set the mug down on his desk, the thought of fresh tea gone, his focus fixed instead on the journal. He pulled out the chair and, slowly, sat down.

Obi-Wan hesitated. He took a deep breath. Then he lifted the cover.

His eyes filled with tears as he read the words in the middle of the page.

_For Satine, with love, from Obi-Wan._

He remembered writing those words like he had written them yesterday, not over ten years ago. He turned the page and smiled at the neat rows of handwriting. A few tears slid down his cheeks as he began to read.

_Satine, I told you I’d keep a record of my adventures, as you called them, so here it begins._

With that, he became lost in memory.

He read all his past thoughts. He read about his training, the books he had read, the places he went. He relived his joys and sorrows, his peace and struggles. He read about Qui-Gon Jinn and heard again all the wisdom he had imparted to him. He read about Anakin, about the day they met and their adventures from then on.

More and more memories flooded to the front of his mind, brought to life by the ink and paper in his hands. He saw it all again, reading with an undercurrent of sorrow in even the happiest memories.

She would never get to read any of it.

He reached the end too quickly.

He stared. Only one blank page remained, front and back. _How poetically tragic._

An idea came to him. His gaze flitted over to the box of pens sitting innocently on the desk near his hand. _Perhaps if I wrote to her...one last time..._

Before he could change his mind, he opened the box, selected a pen, and wrote the date at the top of the page. There, he paused. _How do I even begin to put all this into words?_

Obi-Wan took a long, deep breath. _Just write like you always have. Tell her what’s on your mind. Tell her what your day has been like._

He thought for a moment, then began.

_I hardly know why I’m writing now._

_You’ve been gone four days. It feels like an eternity. Usually, I’m quite good at hiding my emotions, but I must be slipping. Anakin has come to check on me six times today and it’s only noon. I hate seeing him upset. I hate how dark his eyes become and how softly he speaks._

_I gave my report right away when I arrived back on Coruscant. I was barely finished when Master Yoda sent me to my quarters to rest. Less than an hour later, I received word that the Council had granted me a week of respite. I feel like Anakin had something to do with it. Actually, I’m quite certain he’s the cause of it. I’m trying to be grateful, but I wish I still had duties._

_I need a distraction. I need a new mission. A report to write. A meeting to attend. Something. Anything to take away the crushing weight of what has happened. Anything to chase off the pulsing, aching pain in my chest._

_The silence is deafening. The stillness is tumultuous._

Fresh tears stung his eyes. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He saw her.

He stifled a sob, opened his eyes, and continued.

_When I close my eyes, all I see is you. I see the day we met, when all I could do was cast a quick glance before my gaze fell to the floor again. I see the moment I first locked eyes with you and I feel the blood rush to my face, as if I were there, as if I were still sixteen and too shy to hold a full conversation with you, or even properly look at you. I see the way your eyes shone like stars when you laughed and blazed with fire when you were angry._

_I see you in my arms. I see every line of pain on your face, perfectly aligned with the cracks on my heart. I see your wound, I see the way you held onto me, and suddenly I can’t tell if I’m looking at you or Master Jinn._

_I can’t sleep because all I see is you. I can’t eat, I can’t breathe, because of the invisible hands gripping my stomach, my lungs, my throat. Half of my heart is gone, never to be replaced, and the remaining half is like a gaping wound, torn and bleeding._

_I’m drowning in blood. I’m choking on tears. I’m suffocating in the darkness wrapped around me. I’m crying out for help, screaming in pain, and yet no sound is coming out._

His hand started to shake worse. He set the pen down and buried his face in his hands. All the grief accumulating in his chest suddenly reared up, snarling and snapping its jaws like some hideous serpent. He had no way of escaping it before, but now, he saw a path. He saw the answer.

He picked up the pen.

_I know what I have to do to reach some semblance of peace. I know what will clot the blood, dry the tears, banish the thickest parts of the darkness. I just don’t know if I’m ready._

_But I must. It’s time._

He closed his eyes. He saw her. Instead of running, this time he stayed. He looked on. She smiled. He returned it with one of his own.

Then he opened his eyes and, keeping the memory of her smile there at the front of his mind, he wrote more.

_Satine, I have loved you from the moment I first locked eyes with you. I should have told you while I had the time. I should have outright said the words. I should have held you tight in my arms and promised to never let go._

_I gave you my heart anyway. I suppose I didn’t need to tell you that for you to know that you held it._

_I fell in love with your eyes, your smile, your laugh. I fell in love with your bold voice and gentle nature, a contradiction that captivated me from the beginning. When I told you I would have left the Jedi Order if you had said the word, I meant it. Leaving would have been easy- effortless, even, if it meant I could be by your side._

_I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your hand on my arm. I miss standing side by side. I miss our long conversations in the small hours of the morning. I miss bickering about little things that didn’t matter. I miss the back and forth quips and jokes. I miss everything._

_I have always loved you, and I always will._

_Rest easy now, my love. Be at peace. I will share that peace when I think of you._

_Goodbye, my dear Satine._

_Kenobi_

He stared at what he had written for a long time.

Then he hung his head and wept.

* * *

“If you keep pacing like that, you’re going to wear a hole into the floor.”

Anakin huffed. He continued to pace, shooting Ahsoka’s hologram transmission a glare. “I’m just worried about him!”

She crossed her arms. “Clearly. How many times did you say you checked on him today?”

“Five. No, six.”

She frowned. “Master, no offense, but isn’t that a bit much?”

Anakin quirked an eyebrow at her. “What, and calling me three times today so far isn’t ‘a bit much’?”

Ahsoka gasped and dramatically pressed a hand to her chest. “Excuse me, I had valid questions!”

Anakin smirked. “I’m just teasing.” He stopped pacing and sighed, his expression solemn. “I don’t think he’s eaten anything. And I doubt he’s slept much, if at all. I thought he looked bad four days ago, but now, he just...he’s like a ghost. I hate it.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“Yeah, but the problem is, he doesn’t want to talk at all. About anything.”

“Have you tried making him tea?”

Frustration clipped Anakin’s words. “Yes, but then I come back and he hasn’t touched it! It doesn’t work!”

Ahsoka regarded him with a thoughtful gaze. “Have you tried hugging him?”

Anakin looked up incredulously. “Me, hugging?”

“Come on, don’t look at me like that! I see you hug Senator Amidala all the time!”

“Hey!” Anakin turned bright red. “That’s supposed to be a secret!”

“Well, you stink at hiding it, then!”

For once, Anakin had no clever response. He lowered his eyes and absently poked at the floor with the toe of his boot.

Ahsoka watched him, a smile slowly appearing on her face. “I’m just saying. Maybe it would help. I could be wrong, but Master Kenobi seems like a hugger to me.”

Anakin had to agree.

“Sooo...?”

“Okay, okay! I’ll go and check on him again, but this time, I’ll stay. I’ll make him tea. I’ll talk to him. I won’t project any frustration on him.”

She stared. “And?”

He sighed. “And, if he lets me, I will hug him.”

“Good! I like your plan!”

“At least someone likes my plans.”

Ahsoka grinned. “Always right here for you, Master.”

Anakin smiled. “See you later, Snips.”

She waved. “Tell me how it goes!”

He ended the transmission. Then he went straight to Obi-Wan’s quarters.

The door was unlocked when he arrived. He tapped a knock on the doorframe before he entered, scanning the room. “Obi-Wan?”

He quickly caught sight of the familiar brown robe. Tucked away in a far corner of the room, Obi-Wan sat slumped forward at his desk, his head resting on his arm. Anakin crossed the room and softly called his name again. Concern gripped his chest as he studied Obi-Wan’s pale face.

He reached out with the Force. Obi-Wan’s presence rose up to greet him, calm and warm.

Anakin relaxed. _He’s finally asleep._

He considered leaving Obi-Wan there, but Anakin had experience falling asleep in that position. Waking up was hardly pleasant. He decided to risk moving him. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and tucked his other one under his knees, then slowly, carefully, lifted him out of the chair. He successfully carried Obi-Wan to his bed without waking him up. He pulled the blanket up to his chin and tiptoed away. He went back to Obi-Wan’s desk, intending to retrieve the forgotten mug of tea he had spied.

Something else demanded his attention.

A journal lay open on the desk, a pen resting on the pages. Anakin saw Satine’s name. Curiously, he moved the pen aside and picked up the journal. He closed it and studied the cover. The brown leather had faded with age, the corners bent, and the edges worn down in several places. The binding on the spine had been stretched and extra pages had been stuffed in. Loose sheets of paper stuck up haphazardly in some places. He opened it to the first page and read it.

_For Satine, with love, from Obi-Wan._

He raised an eyebrow. Curiosity in full swing, he sat down at the desk, propped his feet up on the top, and turned the page. The story unfolding on the paper immediately enraptured him. He reveled in the chance to finally get inside Obi-Wan’s head, to better understand him, and to learn more about what his life was like before Anakin met him.

He loved reading the entries about himself. Anakin remembered every anecdote about his training and every tale of the risks he took in the war. Hearing the stories from Obi-Wan’s perspective brought a grin to his face each time.

Finally, he came to the last page, where it had been open to earlier. He read it quickly, his heart aching. Anakin had been feeling rather triumphant at discovering such an open confirmation of Obi-Wan’s love for Satine, but that triumph turned brittle and crumbled away.

He read the last few paragraphs again and sighed. _Obi-Wan doesn’t deserve this._

“I suppose I should know better than to leave things laying around where you can get to them.”

Anakin jumped and slammed the journal shut, his boots thumping back on the floor. His eyes snapped up to meet Obi-Wan’s. He stood watching him from the doorway, clutching his robe around his small frame, the excess fabric making him look even smaller. Although he had slept for a short time, his eyes were still dull and red, with dark, heavy bags underneath. His hair stuck up in odd places, rumpled and greasy. Fading bruises on the side of his face stood out starkly on his pale skin.

“Obi-Wan! I- well, ah, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I just...um...” Anakin lowered his gaze guiltily. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Anakin.” He shuffled closer, a small smile on his face. “Someone other than me should read it, anyway. I would have chosen you if it couldn’t be her.”

Anakin’s face fell. “I wish she could have seen this. She would have loved it.”

Pain flashed across Obi-Wan’s face. He walked around Anakin, briefly placing his hand on his shoulder as he passed. He stopped in front of the window. Anakin set the journal on the desk and stood, moving to join him. They watched the early afternoon traffic together in silence.

Then Obi-Wan spoke, almost too faint for Anakin to hear.

“It was him.”

Anakin tensed. “Who?”

“Maul. He killed her.”

Anakin cursed. He clenched his hands into fists. Anger flared in his chest.

Obi-Wan’s voice quivered. “And now I’m grieving not only for her, but for Master Jinn all over again.”

“Obi-Wan, I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this at all and I-”

“Don’t I?”

Anakin’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you honestly think that!”

“I failed. I wasn’t strong enough.”

“You didn’t fail! You did your best, like always!”

“No, no, you don’t understand! You weren’t there!” Obi-Wan’s breaths came shorter and faster. “Darth Maul killed Master Jinn, and then he killed Satine, and both times, I just stood there and watched!”

Anakin frowned and touched his arm. “If you had tried anything else, he would have killed you, too.”

Obi-Wan raised his voice. “I should have tried anyway! Maybe it was time for me to die!”

Anakin’s frown deepened. “What about me?! I’m still here, I still need you!”

Obi-Wan whirled to face him and slapped his hand away. “It’s not always about you, Anakin!”

Anakin scowled and turned away, crossing his arms. He bit back several vengeful retorts. _Hold it together. He doesn’t mean it._

“I’m sorry...” Obi-Wan’s tone softened to a whisper. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean... I’m not myself right now.”

A rush of sorrow and regret swept over Anakin. He shuddered at the sudden wave of emotion Obi-Wan sent him through the Force. He turned back to him. Obi-Wan had shrunk into himself, recoiling into his robe and pressing a fistful of the worn fabric against his lips. Tears spilled down his cheeks.

Anakin’s heart ached. He looked so broken.

He thought of the plan he had devised earlier with Ahsoka. _Time to set that into motion._

“You love her. And that will never change,” Anakin said softly.

Obi-Wan nodded and lowered his hand. “When I was younger, I was worried that someday I would...grow out of it, I guess. But that never happened. I saw her again all those years later and it was like no time had passed. I looked into her eyes and felt like a teenager again.”

Anakin had to smile at that. “She really loved you, too.”

A shaky smile crossed Obi-Wan’s face. “I know.”

Anakin took a half step forward. “Obi-Wan, just because she’s dead doesn’t mean she’s gone. Not really. We always have memories of our loved ones. And, since you’re so clever, you wrote your memories down.”

Obi-Wan glanced back at the journal with a sigh “I wish I had done more. I wish I had just held her in my arms and told her how much I love her.”

“You can’t dwell on your regrets.” Anakin stepped closer and gripped Obi-Wan’s shoulders. “I had to learn that after I lost my mother. I spent so long wishing I had chosen her over my friends more often, wishing I had thanked her for everything she did for me. But I came to realize that, no matter how much I regret, it’s all done. It’s in the past. You can’t change it, but you can choose how you move on, and how you remember. How you keep them alive.”

Obi-Wan studied him thoughtfully. “When did you become so wise?”

Anakin shrugged. “I learned it from you.”

Obi-Wan smiled briefly, then his expression crumpled in grief. “I miss her so much.”

He began to sob openly. Anakin chose that moment to close the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around him as tight as he dared, resting his chin on Obi-Wan’s head. Immediately, Obi-Wan returned the embrace, sinking against him. Tears of his own stung Anakin’s eyes as huge waves of grief washed over him. He tried to balance it by sending as much empathy and peace as he could muster.

Anakin had no idea how long they stood there. He held his brother close and let him cry into his chest until his sobs quieted and his shoulders relaxed.

When at last Obi-Wan’s breathing had evened out, Anakin offered quietly, “Do you want some tea? Maybe something to eat?”

“That would be nice,” Obi-Wan replied.

Anakin smiled. _Mission accomplished._


End file.
